


Beca Mitchell and the Singing Chloe the Elf

by zentamaus



Series: Works by the almighty Plot Generator [2]
Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Gen, fairytale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-16 02:00:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21028412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zentamaus/pseuds/zentamaus
Summary: On her way to meet Stacie, Beca has to out-wit Aubrey the witch in a contest against Chloe the elf.This was created using an automatedplot generator. I only changed minor things.





	Beca Mitchell and the Singing Chloe the Elf

**Author's Note:**

> Another crack!fic.  
...you're welcome.

**Beca Mitchell and the Singing Chloe the Elf**

_ A Fairy Tale by zentamaus _

Once upon a time there was a tiny girl called Beca. She was on her way to see her friend Stacie, when she decided to take a shortcut through Barden Forest.

It wasn't long before Beca got lost. She looked around, but all she could see were trees. Nervously, she felt into her bag for her favourite toy, Pitchy, but Pitchy was nowhere to be found! Beca began to panic. She felt sure she had packed Pitchy. To make matters worse, she was starting to feel hungry.

Unexpectedly, she saw a singing Chloe the elf dressed in a yellow plaid shirt disappearing into the trees.

"How odd!" thought Beca.

For the want of anything better to do, she decided to follow the peculiarly dressed Chloe the elf. Perhaps she could tell her the way out of the forest.

Eventually, Beca reached a clearing. In the clearing were two houses, one made from carrots and one made from brownies.

Beca could feel her tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease her hunger.

"Hello!" she called. "Is anybody there?"

Nobody replied.

Beca looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously, it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.

A cackle broke through the air, giving Beca a fright. Aubrey the witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Pitchy!

"Pitchy!" shouted Beca. She turned to Aubrey the witch. "That's my toy!"

Aubrey the witch just shrugged.

"Give Pitchy back!" cried Beca.

"Not on your nelly!" said Aubrey the witch.

"At least let Pitchy out of that cage!"

Before she could reply, the singing Chloe the elf in the yellow plaid shirt rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the cleaning.

"Hello Chloe the elf," said Aubrey the witch.

"Good morning." Chloe the elf noticed Pitchy. "Who is this?"

"That's Pitchy," explained Aubrey the witch.

"Ooh! Pitchy would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded Chloe the elf.

Aubrey the witch shook her head. "Pitchy is staying with me."

"Um... Excuse me..." Beca interrupted. "Pitchy lives with me! And not in a cage!"

Chloe the elf ignored her. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" she asked Aubrey the witch.

Aubrey the witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."

Chloe the elf looked at the house made from brownies and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from brownies if I wanted to."

"There's no need to show off," said Aubrey the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Pitchy."

Beca watched, feeling very worried. She didn't want Aubery the witch to give Pitchy to Chloe the elf. She didn't think Pitchy would like living with a singing Chloe the elf, away from her house and all her other toys.

Chloe the elf put on her bib and withdraw a knife and fork from her chest pocket.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Chloe the elf. "Just you watch!"

Chloe the elf pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from brownies. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

And more.

And more.

Eventually, Chloe the elf started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of brownies, she grew to the size of a large snowball - and she was every bit as round.

"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Chloe the elf.

Suddenly, she started to roll. She'd grown so round that she could no longer balance!

"Help!" she cried, as she rolled off down a slope into the forest.

Chloe the elf never finished eating the front door made from brownies and Pitchy remained trapped in Aubrey the witch's cage.

"That's it," said Aubrey the witch. "I win. I get to keep Pitchy."

"Not so fast," said Beca. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from carrots. And I haven't had a turn yet.

"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed Aubrey the witch. "My game. My rules."

Jesse the woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give her a chance. It's only fair."

"Fine," said Aubrey the witch. "But you saw what happened to Chloe the elf. She won't last long."

"I'll be right back," said Beca.

"What?" said Aubrey the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Pitchy back."

Beca ignored Aubrey the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. She came back to the clearing and started a small campfire. Carefully, she broke off a piece of the door of the house made from carrots and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, she took a bite. She quickly devoured the whole piece.

Beca sat down on a nearby log.

"You fail!" cackled Aubrey the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."

"I haven't finished," explained Beca. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."

When Beca's food had digested, she broke off another piece of the door made from carrots. Once more, she toasted her food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. She ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.

Eventually, after several sittings, Beca was down to the final piece of the door made from carrots. Carefully, she toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. She finished her final course. Beca had eaten the entire front door of the house made from carrots.

Aubrey the witch stomped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"

"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was Jesse the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little girl won fair and square. Now hand over Pitchy or I will chop your broomstick in half."

Aubrey the witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.

Beca hurried over and grabbed Pitchy, checking that her favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Pitchy was unharmed.

Beca thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Stacie. It was starting to get dark.

When Beca got to Stacie's house, her friend threw her arms around her.

"I was so worried!" cried Stacie. "You are very late."

As Beca described her day, she could tell that Stacie didn't believe her. So she grabbed a napkin from her pocket.

"What's that?" asked Stacie.

Beca unwrapped a doorknob made from brownies. "Pudding!" she said.

Stacie almost fell off her chair.

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this crazy stuff!


End file.
